Depression is an ugly disorder. Some people handle it well. Others not so much. I think for some people, it can hit you like a train. Just so severe that they can’t handle simple daily functions like eating, sleeping or working. People with clinical depression the symptoms can last months or even years.
For Linkin Park’s front man, Chester Bennington, 41, depression was a battle. On Thursday, Bennington lost the battle. He was found dead in his Los Angeles home in the early morning.
As of Thursday, the Los Angeles County Coroner was still investigating the death of Bennington as an apparent suicide.
The singer is survived by his wife of twelve years, Talinda and six children – Jamie, 21, Isaiah, 19, Draven, 15, Tyler Lee, 11, and Lily and Lila, seven.
But even though hisfamily was beautiful,
Chester had a rocky past with substance abuse and mental health issues. Most of his fans probably thought this was in his past.
In what is believed to be his last ever interview, obtained exclusively by Mirror Online Bennington had this to say about his battle with depression.
“I came to a point in my life where I was like, ‘I can either just give up and fucking die or I can fucking fight for what I want.’ And I chose to fight for what I wanted. I wanted to have good relationships. I wanted to love the people in my life. I wanted to enjoy my job.
“I wanted to enjoy being a dad and having friends and just getting up in the morning. Because that was a struggle for me.
Bennington explained he had just come out of one of the ‘darkest times’ of his life. Fortunately, the bank had helped him dig himself out of that cold dark place with the release of a new album.
In May, Linkin Park released their seventh album, ‘One More Light’. It was allegedly a very ‘personal’ piece of work and ‘very therapeutic’ for Bennington and the band in general.
“It’s hard. You know? Instinctively I want to make the river flow where I want it to flow and I want to make the water be calm when I want it to be calm. It takes a lot of patience to just let things happen as they’re happening and just ride it out. And I feel like that’s where I’m at in life right now. I’m just going to focus on what’s going on right now and make the best of the situation no matter what it is. I’m not going to question it or analyze it in any way because that’s me going back to my old behavior where I was trying to control everything.”
Bennington went on to say,
“One More Light is for us a very personal and very therapeutic kind of record,” he said. “We got into a lot of aspects of our lives that we probably wouldn’t have normally shared with anyone and just dealt with it on our own.
“We brought in various issues and situations into the writing process. When you hear it in the context of the music there’s a hopefulness and there’s a sense of moving forward and moving on and that’s really where we’re coming from.”
Speaking candidly about the bleakness he felt, Chester said: “I felt like the world was full of s**t and everybody I knew was full of s**t and life sucks and I was like ‘F***k it.’ All that stuff it was just internal.”
The frontman said that over a period of two years, writing the record and making decisions to tackle his problems, had helped him to move on and work to get into a better place.
But those demons Chester was dealing with came back, only this time he didn’t have the strength to fight them off.
Officials say Bennington hung himself from a door, in a similar manner as his friend Chris Cornell did, in his bedroom. He was home alone and found by his housekeeper.
After news of his shock death emerged, friends said that while they never suspected he’d kill himself, Bennington was ‘never the same’ after the death of his close friend Chris Cornell.
His apparent suicide coincided with Cornell’s birthday. The Soundgarden rocker killed himself in May.
Our prayers are with his wife and family, friends and the other band members of Linkin Park.
Those seeking support should contact the National Suicide Prevention Line on 1-800-273-8255, or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org.